How to Regain Perspective From the Drama Queen

Learning to Regain Perspective.

Regaining perspective once we lose it can be challenging and difficult. We’ve been working on our mindset, shifting it to a more positive outlook.


By now, we’ve gained confidence for this work. We can feel the change within us and we see how that inner change has improved the way we see the world.


Perhaps we’ve even began to keep a gratitude journal by squeezing a little extra time from our busy schedule.


Moreover, we’ve developed a better appreciation of what it means to live mindfully, more intentionally and feel more empowered.


Yet we feel frustrated at how easy it seems to be to back slid into old habits and ways of thinking.


Perhaps you feel you aren’t doing it right.

The Five Senses Challenge

Welcome to the challenge that our five senses throw at us everyday.


Michael Singer in his ground breaking book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourselfexplains it this way.


Think about going to the movies. They use the latest techniques of sound and visual effect to pull you into a story.  You loose track of your physical body sitting in a room looking at a large movie screen with many other people around you.


Just those two senses, sight and sound completely suck you in. You wake up from the drama as the movie credits begin to roll.


But suppose, Singer suggests, that you now add the sensation of touch, so you actually feel the characters touching.


Those passionate love scenes that made you squirm a little in your seat, imagine if you could actually feel that character in the scene.


Now throw in taste and smell.


What would your movie experience be like then?


Total immersion.


Even the slight consciousness of self you retain in a 2 dimensional movie disappears under the on slot.

Consistent Daily Practice

Well that’s what the world of the senses , the outer world, throws at you every day, non stop twenty-four hours a day.




Now you begin to see what you are up against.




Perhaps you begin to understand why your coach or mentor works so tirelessly to develop your ability to focus on a few consistent daily practices to keep you anchored to who you really are.




Ok, you got the picture.




Faced with this onslaught, until you develop the skills to remain aware of being aware, learning to remain in your seat of consciousness, the place from which the “I” that is you looks out at the world of the senses, you are going to slip.



As long as you are human that outside sensory world is going to occasionally overwhelm your sense of tranquility, peace and inner balance.




But it’s not the slip that is important it is your ability to regain perspective once that happens.



I can explain how all this happens in much more detail but that’s not my point.



If your interested there is no better place to start than The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself.


Defeating the Drama Queen

However what I’m focused on right now is how you rescue yourself from your drama queen moments.

Oh come on, we’ve all had them.

I remember once being so angry with a friend of mine I tried to kick him but my shoe flew off and went through the closed kitchen window. (That’s an extreme example.)

Of course you’ve never done anything like that right.

Well I want you to stop and think about  a moment when you got so absorb into a problem that you became obsessive to the point of ridiculousness.

It could be a big thing…we tend to make these situations big things, even when they start out to be small things.

How about the time some one ‘borrow’ your favorite coffee mug without your permission and ‘forgot’ to return it.”

Or that ‘friend’ that knows which of your buttons to push to really wind you up.

The physical universe in partner ship with our ego have conspired to seduce us out of our center of awareness time and time again.

How to Regain Perspective: A Practical Exercise

Well there are many different exercises you can do to move yourself back into that place of calm awareness but I am focusing only on one in this post.


And the reason I’m sharing this one is that this exercise was brought to my attention by that higher intelligence that works within each of us. The one that patiently offers us guidance that we often ignore…the inner voice, the small still voice within us.


You know the one.


Well the other week, that voice spoke to me from three different sources about this method of regaining perspective.


Let’s start with Michael Singer who I’ve mention a few times now. 


Here’s his quote, the first one I notice by the way.


Walk outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. You are sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Though you can only see a few thousand stars, there are hundreds of billions of stars in our Milky Way Galaxy alone. In fact it is estimated that there are over a trillion stars in the Spiral Galaxy. And that galaxy would look like one star to us, if we could even see it. You’re just standing on one little ball of dirt and spinning around one of the stars. From this perspective do you really care what people think about your clothes or your car?


Source: Michael Singer

From Awakening

That same day I came across this from Anthony De Mello

Everything depends on your point of view. From the viewpoint of the forest what is the loss of a leaf? From the viewpoint of the cosmos what is the loss of your business schedule?

Source: Awakening: Conversations with the Masters Anthony De Mello 

Can you see how the change in viewpoing helps you regain perspective?

The Wisdom of the Ages

The other two came from the same source a day book called the Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

Looking at the beautiful expanse of the sky is an antidote to the nagging pettiness of earthly concerns. And it is good and sobering to lose yourself in that as often as you can.


Ryan Holiday The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living

But here is the really amazing part, what I call the magic or the mystery. Over two thousand years ago a brilliant mind gave us this exact same exercise.


Watch the stars in their courses and imagine yourself running alongside them. Think constantly of the changes of the elements into each other, for such thoughts wash away the dust of earthly life.


Source: Marcus Aurelius


Marcus Aurelius equates it to washing off the dust of earthly life.

Summary: Leave the Drama Queen in the Dust

Some times that inner presence likes to hammer the message home. Just in case, right then you are being a drama queen.


Can you think of a better way, or a more pleasant way to regain perspective?


It makes the drama about the mess the new hairdresser made of you hair look insignificant.


We love our stories and we love our dramas, but the moment we catch ourselves in the act and start laughing you know you’ve won the game.


Now you’ve read about it.


Your next step is action.


Do the exercise.


Let me know how it went.


Nick Grimshawe


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